


kindness is not weakness

by RyDyKG



Series: what they don’t see [2]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Character Study, Female Darryl Noveschosch, Gen, Genderbending, Introspection, tw: a6d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27293323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyDyKG/pseuds/RyDyKG
Summary: Bad is kind. But everyone forgets, that there’s a reason people choose to be kind. And she’s no different.(Female BadBoyHalo AU)
Relationships: Antfrost & Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Darryl Noveschosch & Sapnap, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch
Series: what they don’t see [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1991806
Comments: 2
Kudos: 196





	kindness is not weakness

**Author's Note:**

> tw: mentions of a6d. it’s a whole paragraph. starts at ‘the situation of a6d’ and ends at ‘Bad’s going to _try_.  
> just putting this warning out there for the people who use it.
> 
> uhh this is probably really shitty, and I made up some stuff about her backstory, so just a disclaimer out there, it’s not real.

She had grown up in a strict household. Her parents admired the stereotypical Asian way of parenting: that is, very strict. As the oldest out of her siblings, Bad took the brunt of it.

(She can’t escape the taste of mouthwash. It lingers on her tongue, everytime she so much as looks at a bar of soap. It doesn’t taste good.)

She started doing YouTube as a way of coping. It’s a weird way, sure, not a conventional one, but it’s her way and she stuck to it. And it did pay off.

Skeppy is weird.

Originally, when he started messing things up on her server, she was angry. Furious, even.

(She’s been pushed over one too many times, how could she have been so stupid to get tricked _again_?)

But then he apologises after, and tells her what he was planning to do, and even helped her fix things up.

And no matter how many times they’ve collaborated, no matter how many times he’s messed with her, he doesn’t belittle her. He helps her with her videos, and defends her against the hate she gets.

It’s nice. Skeppy’s weird, but he’s a nice friend.

Her live chat starts spamming memes again. She tells them to stop. They don’t.

It’s her birthday. It’s supposed to be a nice day. She wanted to share her happiness with her fans. She just wasn’t expecting them to not be nice to her.

It’s silly, it’s stupid, it’s foolish, but she cries. Just a little. But it’s enough to be noticeable.

The fans stop spamming after that.

(She hates how she has to show weakness in order for them to finally stop.)

Her friends defend her on social media. They celebrate her birthday with her properly, showering her with compliments and gifts. Skeppy offers to put out an official warning. Bad cries again, and this time it’s happy tears.

Everybody always tells her she’s too kind. Too much of a pushover, too easily manipulated and lied to.

Bad knows she is. She doesn’t stop being herself.

(Her mother called being kind ‘a weakness’. Her father was rude to waiters and cashiers because ‘they didn’t deserve respect if they worked such low-class jobs.)

(She will not become like her parents.)

She’s known as one of the kindest people in the community. People come to her for advice and help. She gladly gives her response. She makes sure people aren’t embarrassed to come to her for help.

She’s already been through that kind of embarrassment in the past. No more.

For all of her parents’ mistakes and faults, they did teach her to stay strong.

Her parents sent her to martial arts classes. She learned how to shoot a gun and swing a sword. She learned all the ways to incapacitate someone with the swing of a hand or the press of an arm. She learned to fight, and she learned to do it _well_.

When she was younger, she was bullied. Her father, upon finding this out, encouraged her to fight. 

His exact words were, “Honey, a lady doesn’t start fights, but they end them, so if you don’t start any me and your mother won’t say anything.”

So, she started fighting back. She sent them running for the hills with bruises and cuts spread all over their body, and a threat to keep this shut, or _else_. They stopped after that.

(She started some too, but they never really stuck around long enough for her to be in trouble.)

The thrill of power had been amazing. To have the potential to send everyone cowering and following your every whim? It was like being high on a sugar rush, only _better_.

It was also sickening. Because if this was how she felt after a few petty fights, how would people like her father, who revelled in pushing others down to climb the social ladder, feel?

So she laid her muscles to rest, stopped fighting (although she didn’t stop doing it competitively), and tried to be as kind as she could.

(There is nothing more thrilling as being kind to someone who was spat on before, in front of the person spitting on them, and watching as they are vilified.)

Dream, George, Sapnap, and Antfrost.

Her friendship with the iDots is one thing. Her friendship with the Manhunters is another.

They’re all growing fast. Milestones upon milestones are reached. It gets to the point that just by putting their names in the title, or showing their skins or faces in a video cover, is enough for the video to get showered in views and likes.

It’s truly amazing.

Bad sees a post. The person behind it is wondering if she feels jealous, seeing as how all her friends are growing faster than she is. She chuckles, and scrolls away.

Why would she be jealous? Her friends are doing great, and they’re happy, which makes her happy.

(It’s silly, but she doesn’t want her friends to have to go through the struggle of succeeding like she has.)

Her fans are great. They truly are.

(They make mistakes, but that’s okay, everyone does. And if those mistakes sometimes leave her shaking and crying? Well, that’s no one’s tale to say but her.)

She likes the fanart they post. Gives out compliments to them, too. Reblogs a lot of them, because they are amazing and they deserve to be seen.

Sure, sometimes there are the bad muffins in a bunch. But they’re usually drowned out by the good muffins, and for the most part, Bad can just continue on.

When Skeppy approaches her with an offer of $10,000 to shave her hair, she’s hesitant.

But eventually, with her fans’ and friends’ support, she does it. 

She smiles at the array of hearts and compliments in the chat, and wills herself to not cry.

At first, it seems like Skeppy’s broken his promise, and her smile falters.

Then, a donation pops up.

It’s from Skeppy.

It’s $10,000.

He didn’t lie.

This time, Bad really has to try hard not to cry.

She goes to her sister’s wedding. Her sister looks so beautiful, her dress elegant and gorgeous. Her husband is a kind man, one Bad knows will take care of her sister well.

The wedding is simple, but it’s enough. Close family members are invited. The autumn leaves make a beautiful scenery and an equal beautiful photo opportunity.

Bad gets to be the maid of honour, and she cries when her position is told to her.

She does her duties well, smiles as her sister and brother-in-law kiss, and gives a short but meaningful speech. She watches them dance, their eyes only focusing on each other, so clearly in love.

Pictures are taken, words are exchanged, and people can dig in into food now.

She can feel her aunts and uncles all staring at her even as she eats. She knows what they are all thinking.

_‘When are you going to get married?’_

Bad’s brother and sister are both married already, despite both being so young. She’s already 26, she should’ve already had a boyfriend by now.

Her mother pulls her away for a talk.

“Do you have anyone you have an eye on, darling?” her mother questions her. “Someone kind and who will fit into our family?”

Bad shakes her head. Her mother tuts. She mutters about matchmakers and a cousin’s friend.

(It’s not that she doesn’t want to love. It’s just that none of them have caught her eye as much as someone else has.)

(But that someone else will forever be out of her reach, so why bother going after someone when they’ll break her heart?)

The situation of A6D is complicated.

She knows Skeppy has denounced their friendship, and she knows Dream and the others are trying to get him to not be so… rude.

(Rude is an understatement. It is a _big_ understatement.)

If she is in another world, perhaps she would’ve been like Skeppy, denouncing their friendship. And perhaps it is the right thing to do, considering what A6D’s said and done.

But A6D is still — had still been — her friend. And besides, she’s heard worse words come out of her family’s mouths.

(Not everyone deserves forgiveness. But as long as he doesn’t do anything worse, Bad’s going to _try_.)

Kindness is not a weakness. 

That’s one thing Bad’s learned a long time ago, and it’s one opinion she holds until this day.

Because if you can get a chance to help others, to watch them blossom and bloom, to watch them become better and succeed even further, if you can watch heights previously thought to be impossible-

The feeling you will get is incomparable.

So Bad will be kind. Because that’s just a good thing to be, isn’t it?


End file.
